


If This is Love

by vanillascribble



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 15:43:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16498382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillascribble/pseuds/vanillascribble
Summary: Jackson discovers love..and heartbreak. The question is; will he love again?





	If This is Love

If This Is Love / GOT7 Fanfiction / Jackson x Jinyoung / Oneshot / Angst / Inspired by a song / 4,982 words

 

 

 _If this is love_  
_Why does it break me down?_  
_Why do you_  
_break_  
_me_  
_down?_

 

-Lyrics taken from **_If This Is Love_ **by Ruth B.-

 

 

Wang Jackson has had enough. The one and a half hour crawl from Gangbyeonbukro has provided him with more than the necessary time he needed to think (or re-think) his relationship with a certain guy with jet-black hair and wrinkles dancing around the corner of his eyes each time he laughed. A certain guy who seemed to have no care in the world about hurting him in public, and apologized a little too easily afterward in private. A certain guy who oftentimes played cruel jokes and left him hanging by a thin rope, his feet dangling twelve thousand feet in the air and wondering, always wondering when the rope will snap in two. He has had enough of the mind games that Jinyoung kept playing— _no, it has to stop. Today. Now._ He has given Jinyoung too much space to roam free before. Today, he will set the limit— _someone has to_.

The video sent by his colleague, Jaebum has convinced him to come to a decision, one that he fought not to make all this while. The clip was only ten seconds long, but it tore Jackson’s heart all the same. He couldn’t recall how many times he replayed the clips, wanting to erase the whole scene from his mind and wishing he could go back to being ignorant of Jinyoung’s latest betrayal.

 

Jackson wasn’t sure whether it was for the better when he refused Jaebum’s invitation to catch up over drinks after work earlier:

“Come on, we have yet to hang out together since I came back from Japan last week. Fill me in, will you?” Jaebum asked again as Jackson was getting ready to leave work.

“Next time—and I’ll buy, to make up for this.” He patted Jaebum’s shoulders, feeling apologetic.

“What’s the hurry? It’s not like you have a kid waiting for you at home, you know?”

“Sorry man, but Jinyoung was feeling a bit under the weather when I left this morning—just wanna check on him.”

“He’s a grown man, for god’s sake, Jackson. And how long are you going to baby him?”

Jackson laughed it off, “Gotta go, man. Another time, okay? See you next week!”

 

Now he felt so foolish, his phone running out of battery as he sat in his car, stuck in the rush hour traffic while the guy that he worried so much over was probably busy screwing some other guy right this moment. _What was his name again? Mark…something._ He never knew Mark’s last name—didn’t care to know. Not that it matter anymore, not when Jinyoung was full on flirting with Mark-with-no-last-name in the video that Jaebum shared. Not when Jinyoung kept leaning in too close into the counter towards Mark, not when Mark tugged at Jinyoung’s lapels, pulling him closer and Jinyoung tilted his head, lips opening up as Mark’s head swooped down for a coveted kiss. Not when Jackson finally placed the phone down, attempting to erase the pain of betrayal from his skin.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_-How it all began-_ **

 

Park Jinyoung has always been a flirt, but sometimes he crossed the line and Jackson ended up batting the attention of others away from the field. If their relationship is a baseball game, there is no doubt that Jackson would have scored countless home runs batting those uninvited intrusions away; his name etched there in the Hall of Glory along with baseball legends, his image plastered on baseball cards.

 

Bestowed with a deep set of eyes that screamed to be loved, Jinyoung is the type to fish for attention, flirting with anyone who showed the slight amount of interest in him, but evaded his eyes whenever someone got too close. He’s like the puzzle that Jackson craved to complete, and after one month of rooming (and three drunken sessions) together and Jackson was cleaning the other guy’s vomit off the bathroom floor for the second time, Jackson realised too late that he has gotten himself lost too deep in the human maze better known as Park Jinyoung. That particular night, as Jackson wiped the curtain of dark hair away from his eyes and placed a cold towel atop Jinyoung’s forehead, he heard a certain sound, like the definite ping of a microwave oven when the door opened, and everything just clicked. He ignored the stinging realisation for the next few weeks or so, until one night Jinyoung was flirting so hard with the bartender from LA who was serving them that Jackson decided to stake his claim.

 

“So Mark, how long has it been since you’ve been working in Seoul?” Jinyoung asked the new bartender, twirling the soju bottle as he shot the question.

Jackson feigned ignorance, busy peeling off the leg of a dried squid.

“Close to four months now, something like that.” The new guy answered, pouring Jinyoung another drink.

“Four months, huh—been around much?” There was mirth in Jinyoung’s eyes, and Jackson chewed harder upon the tentacle, almost biting his own tongue.

“Not really—my shifts don’t really allow me time for that, you see…” Mark smiled, eyes lingering too long upon Jinyoung’s jaw as he answered. Jinyoung returned the smile and Jackson choked on his drink, gulping too fast too soon.

“I can show you around, if you’d like to.” Jinyoung chirped, one eyebrow raised at the suggestion.

“Well,…I guess I’d like that—very much.” He flashed that devilish-looking smile again, ensnaring Jinyoung deeper into the conversation.

That was when Jackson decided to intervene, before Jinyoung invites the guy home.

“Jinyoung-ah, you’re totally wasted. Let’s get you home, shall we?” Jackson scrambled around for his wallet, tugging hard at Jinyoung’s elbow at the same time.

“I’m not drunk—by the way, meet my buddy Jackson here.” Jinyoung slurred, slinging one arm around Jackson’s shoulders.

“I’m his roommate. And believe me, he’s really messy—you don’t want to get to know him.”

“Mark is from LA, Jackson. I’ve never been to LA.” Jinyoung whispered into Jackson’s ear.

"You've never been to Hong Kong either." Jackson muttered between gritted teeth.

But Jinyoung didn't seem to hear him, as he turned his attention back to the bartender, “So…where would you like to go?” Jinyoung asked, ignoring Jackson’s attempts to pry him away from the bar.

“…I..well, I don’t really know—” The bartender replied, much to Jackson’s annoyance.

“Excuse me, but he really doesn’t mean it—he gets like this when he’s drunk, you see—” Jackson piped in before the other guy could answer further.

“I’m not drunk, Jackson.” Jinyoung whined.

“Like hell you’re not. Come on—let’s go now.”

“I don’t want to…”

“It’s late—you have that important presentation on sales promo at work tomorrow, remember?” Jackson said as he placed his hand around Jinyoung’s waist, steadying him.

“Tomorrow’s my day off.”

“…well, uh—look, it’s snowing outside—anyway, wouldn’t want to keep you away from work, Mark. Here, keep the change.” He dug into his pocket for some bills and shoved them towards Mark before half-dragging Jinyoung out the door with the latter protesting all the way. It was difficult enough trying to steady a sober Jinyoung, but a tipsy Jinyoung required double the effort.

“But I’m not done talking to that…what was his name again?” Jinyoung looked over his shoulder at the bar, waving weakly at Mark’s silhouette as the glass door closed behind them.

“Yes you’re done. And who cares what’s his name is?” Jackson replied as he struggled to keep Jinyoung by his side.

“We should show him around—he’s new here and..and…” His fingers drew circles in the air, trying to pin the words down.

“He’s a grown man—I’m sure he can read maps.” Jackson replied.

“But he’s not fluent in Korean—what if he gets lost?” Jinyoung contested.

“Then he can always Google map in freaking English, or he can fucking learn the language—just like I did.”

“Why are you yelling at me? Anyway, I think we should go back there—”

“Jinyoung-ah?"

"Hmm...?"

"Let's just stop talking about him and get home now, okay?"

"But he doesn’t know the area well–”

“Stop.”

“What if he gets lost on his own?”

“Will you stop it now?”

“Why are you so worked up about this? Anyway, I think we should go back there and—uummfff!"

 

Jinyoung never got to finish his sentence that night. Jackson wished he could blame it on everything else—on the way the snowflakes hit the tip of Jinyoung's nose beneath the soft glow of the streetlight as they argued. That it was the way Jinyoung looked up to the sky and smiled wide, like a child seeing snow for the first time. That it was the chill in the air, the fact that the street was deserted and the fact that he might be slightly tipsy (and jealous) himself. He wished he could blame it on all that and some more, instead of admitting that he has been wanting to kiss Jinyoung for quite some time now, wondering how Jinyoung would taste on his tongue, whether his lush lips would be as soft as he had imagined. And when Jinyoung returned the kiss as the snow kept falling, Jackson couldn’t help from smiling like a fool all the way home. Jackson made sure they never visited that bar again after that night—with Jinyoung, you just never know. But that night, Jackson believed he could make Jinyoung his.

 

 

The next morning, Jackson turned on his side, smiled at Jinyoung's naked back. He sidled close, wrapped an arm around Jinyoung's waist and traced butterfly kisses over the other guy’s shoulder, inching towards his collar bone.

"Let me sleep." Jinyoung mumbled, shrugging Jackson's jaw away and moving to the far end of the bed.

"...Oh...—sure.''

Jackson stared at Jinyoung’s back for a while, noted how the soft grey curtain swayed back and forth as the cold morning air filtered in through a window that they probably forgot to close last night. He took in the fading off-white wallpaper with blotches of unidentified stains on them, like splashes of dried blood caking the wall. He noted how Jinyoung remained so still, as if he was part of the furniture decorating the room. Tentatively, Jackson reached out again, tracing Jinyoung's back with his forefinger and began to draw Jinyoung's name in Cantonese. He was about to add the last letter when Jinyoung shrugged him off again and pulled the sheet closer to his chin.

"Sorry.." Jackson blurted, retracting his hand and feigning sleep. His emotions swirled like broken branches outside the window and he wondered why he was shivering when the heater kept blasting warm air their way. He wondered why Jinyoung’s heart remained frozen despite the shared heat, whether what happened last night meant anything at all to him.

_I guess not, huh?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_\- The Fallout -_ **

 

Seven months and well, Jackson has lost count of the days since they have been together. Because during those seven months and uncountable days, there were times when Jackson questioned whether he was imagining the whole relationship in his head, or whether he was daydreaming the whole thing. Because there were days when Jinyoung was there, but his soul seemed missing. Jackson knew this because on days like that, Jinyoung was a kite on a string, threatening to snap away, should Jackson tug too hard or demand too much loyalty from him. Jinyoung wanted his freedom, while Jackson ached to get closer. So Jackson was extra cautious on days like that, as Jinyoung kept him at an arm’s length, and Jackson could only watch from earth as Jinyoung floated into the atmosphere, away from his good intentions and his need to understand Jinyoung further.

 _What a fool you’ve been. Just a fool_ —he berated himself; thumping his forehead against the wheel before the car behind him began honking, telling him to get a grip on life and drive on.

 

When he arrived, the apartment was empty, as Jackson knew it would be. Initially, he planned to head over to the bar in Myeongdong and drag Jinyoung’s sorry ass back home, but halfway there, he decided against it and continued towards home instead. Nothing can stop Jinyoung—he would just crawl back towards his American target if he made up his mind to do so. And Jackson was tired of playing the same game over and over, because Jinyoung never let him win. If he can't beat Jinyoung at his own game, he decided this time he better walk away, before he gets torn apart further by his own admission.

 

Two hours later, the key turned in the lock. Jackson straightened his back, much like a soldier about to face the battle of his lifetime. Wordlessly, his eyes trailed after Jinyoung as the other guy walked into their shared living space.

The lights came to life and Jinyoung flinched upon spotting Jackson on the sofa. "Hey...uh—thought you won't be back till later."

 _At least you had the decency to look guilty, like a mouse caught in a trap_ —he thought.

"I managed to get off work early—the meeting was cancelled at the last minute." What Jackson didn't say was how he was the one who cancelled it, trying not to crush his phone after viewing the video sent by Jaebum.

"So um,...should we go out for dinner? My treat."

"I'm not hungry." He made no move to make space for Jinyoung on the two-seater steel-coloured sofa.

"Oh? That's a first..since when are you not hungry?" Jinyoung tilted his head to one side and crawled unto Jackson's lap like a cat, slinging an arm around Jackson’s neck.

Jackson could smell the smoky scent of the bar reeking from Jinyoung's muffler. That, and another scent which he couldn’t quite figure out.

  
"Where have you been? I called you three times on the way home."

"Oh..you know, just here and there. So--does spaghetti and pizza sounds good to you? Or maybe we can—"

''Where exactly—here and there? Because believe it or not, I don't know Jinyoung-ah, since I can't fucking read your mind." He shoved Jinyoung away, walked to the window and stared into the distance at the miserable Seoul traffic that still plagued the city even at this hour. The traffic seemed to crawl into the tight space wedged between his ribcage, making it difficult to breathe. He imagined himself sitting in his vehicle and staring at the unmoving pedometer, away from this conversation. Away from Jinyoung. Away from this searing pain that was enveloping him like hot air.

"What's the matter with you? I've said I've—"

"The matter with me is that I care too much about you—that I let this happen."

"What happened?''

"Falling in love with you."

''...''

''What? You're going to pretend not to hear it again this time?''

"I thought we agreed not to talk about this."

"You agreed not to talk about it—I didn't. Not me, Jinyoung-ah. So don't you dare impose your belief on me. I love you—so fucking in love with you that I turned a blind eye to all the shitty things that you do."

"I've told you—we're just casual."

"Casual? Really? Don't fucking try to brainwash me with your ‘we're just casual’ nonsense—because we both know that's not true. We are a lot of things, Jinyoung-ah, but ‘casual’ is not one of them."

“Look, I’ve told you from day one, didn’t I? I don’t do relationship—you agreed to that.”

“…Yeah, yeah I did. I FUCKING DID, JINYOUNG-AH!”

"...Fine! What do you want from me?"

"Tell me. Talk to me—I want to know if you're feeling the same way that I do—that's all. I...I want you to let me in. Not shut me out like this."

"You're delusional. I've returned your feelings, I've sobered up and yet here you are, accusing me of—"

"Really? Well, then I guess I must be seeing things too now—coz he sure looks like you."

And he showed Jinyoung the video that tore him into pieces.

"..Where’d you get that?"

“Doesn’t matter—is this true?”

“…”

“God, Jinyoung! Say something.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know! Tell me it’s not true—that it’s not you, just…just…just anything, please..”

“You know it’s me.”

“…”

“What’s the point in lying, Jackson?”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it… what else do you expect me to say? You want me to lie to you?”

Jackson shook his head, trying to clear his mind, his heart from the shrapnel of Jinyoung’s admission. "You know what? You’re right. I must be delusional. I’m delusional that you're in this mess with me when it's clear that you're not."

"Look, I…I just went out for a drink. Mark was there. We began talking and well, it’s just a kiss. Things just happened. I didn’t plan on it, but it happened all the same. But it’s not like I fucked him or something. Why are you getting so worked up over this?”

“You didn’t fuck him, huh? That’s all that matters to you? What about the fact that I’m upset that you were out cheating on me? How about that? That never crossed your fucking mind?”

“…It just happened. You know how I am. You know he doesn’t mean much to me—they all don’t.”

“Then I guess I don’t mean much to you too.”

“…”

“Silly me, huh? I thought over time, you would realise how much all this means to you, and well...I guess you would change. How you must have laughed at me all this while, huh?”

“…That’s not what I meant.”

“Well, I’m not sure if you ever meant anything you said, Jinyoung-ah.”

“…Why are you being so difficult?”

“Difficult? Me?..are you serious right now?”

“Look, I made a mistake. I’m sorry, but I can’t go back and rewind time, can I?”

“I…sometimes I don’t know why I’m with you, you know?”

“I’m sorry.” Jinyoung said, his hands slipping around Jackson’s waist from the back.

Jackson paused, gathering his resolve. “You’ve stepped over the line too far this time.” His voice sound exhausted even to his own ears.

“I know..and I’m really so—”

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“I said I’m really sorry.”

“You’re always sorry—I..I can’t. I just can’t, Jinyoung-ah. Not anymore.”

“But…”

“I’ll come and get my things later.” Jackson said, untangling himself from Jinyoung, forcing himself to walk away—away from this mess, away from the ongoing war that was taking place in his heart. Away from the very source of his brokenness.

"'Where are you going?" For a moment, Jinyoung looked scared.

"I don't know. I just I can’t stay here anymore."

As he walked towards the door, he reminded himself not to look back, less his resolve shatters like sandcastles hit by the waves. But the hardest part of it all was that Jinyoung didn’t even try to stop him from leaving. He didn’t even try.

That night, as he bunked off on Jaebum's couch, he opened contact, deleted Jinyoung’s number from his phone. It seemed unnecessary since he knew the number by heart anyway, but he felt like it was something he needed to do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_-Six months and three days later-_ **

 

 

There was a soft knock on his door, as if the visitor was debating with himself on whether he should knock or not. Jackson didn’t bother to check who the visitor was. He opened the door, knowing Jinyoung would be on the other side, eyes downcast. The other guy raised his head, meeting Jackson’s gaze halfway.

“I know you told me to stay away.” Jinyoung began, as if that explained everything.

“…”

“But I don’t know who or where else to go to. Jaebum gave me your address.”

“...It’s late, Jinyoung-ah. Go home–”

“It’s my dad—he’s dead.” Jinyoung looked down after that statement, studying the scuffed tip of his own shoes all of a sudden.

Jackson has always known that Jinyoung shared a strained relationship with his father. They rarely talked on the phone, and the few times Mr. Park visited his son in Seoul was when he needed to borrow money from him. Jackson met the old man twice, and he appeared nice enough, but Jinyoung hated his guts. He never allowed him to stay longer than a night, shoving the old man out the door after he gives him money.

“He’s the reason my mom left. That’s all you should know.” Jinyoung mumbled when Jackson questioned the way he treated the old man before.

Jackson wished he could shut the door in Jinyoung’s face and sever all ties with him, but the other guy looked so broken that Jackson wondered if he pokes his finger against Jinyoung’s tear-stained cheeks, would Jinyoung end up breaking into a thousand glass shards and piercing his own heart?

So Jackson retreated as Jinyoung crossed the threshold. He poured warm tea as Jinyoung recounted how the neighbour found his dad, his neck broken and hanging lifeless in the living room.

“I should have listened…he said he was having some trouble..but I didn’t. I didn’t know he was so deep in debt again.” Regret coloured Jinyoung’s eyes, and for a moment, he wished to absorb the other guy’s pain, make Jinyoung forget how hurt felt like.

“There was no way you could have known what he was going to do, Jinyoung-ah..” Instead, Jackson allowed himself a soft pat on the other guy’s shoulder. He restrained himself from anything beyond that. He couldn’t trust himself around Jinyoung. Couldn’t trust himself not to fall under Jinyoung’s dark spell.

Jinyoung continued, lost in regret and drenched with painful memories. “I was spiteful and I can’t stop blaming him for making my mother leave—the truth is, she left because she wanted to. I was eight back then, but I understood it all. She wanted more, more than my dad could ever offer her. She’s going to save some money and come back for me, she said. So for fourteen years, I waited and waited, and then I just grew tired of waiting—she never came back, not even once.”

“Jinyoung-ah…you don’t have to tell me all this.” Jackson tried to put a halt to Jinyoung’s pain, but the other guy refused to stop.

“I saw her again two years back, when I was working at that posh bakery in Myeongdong, the one that I took you to, once. One day, this elegant-looking lady stopped by. I would have recognised her anywhere, you know. She looked a little different than I remembered; different hairstyle, a whole new upgraded wardrobe, a diamond ring on her wedding finger and all. But she looked me straight in the eye and didn’t even recognised me—her own son. I wanted to scream out her name and see if she would recognise me, but somehow I couldn’t. She looked so lovely, mumbling in excitement about her son’s upcoming 14th birthday. She wanted the cake to be extra special—It has to be a chocolate cake, she said. It’s Yugyeom’s favourite, she said. So that my son knows just how much I love him, she said.”

“Jinyoung-ah...”

 

“I baked the cake and hell, I even decorated it. My hands trembled so badly as I pressed the piping bag, tracing white chocolate and writing ‘HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY YUGYEOM’ with much care. All that while, I was reminded of the many lonely birthdays I spent without her. I delivered the cake, set it on the table and everything and she freaking told me to stay and join the celebration. The irony of it, my own mother freaking told me to stay and watch as she laughed and fawned over her new son. I must be crazy, because I stayed and forced the food down my throat even when all I wanted to do was ask her why she abandoned me. Why she never missed me like how I missed her every single day. Why she never visited me when she could, because we never moved from that neighbourhood, and I kept going to the same school, even when the other kids kept asking me why my own mother would leave me behind. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask her anything. She looked so happy, you know? Her laughter was like crystal raindrops, and I couldn’t bring myself to end that laugh of hers. So I thanked her and left the party, promising myself never to look for her again. I vomited everything out when I reached home. All my life, I kept waiting for a mother who has long forgotten that I even existed. I quit the bakery the next day.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” _Why, Jinyoung, why? Did you think I would judge you?_

Jinyoung laughed then, sarcasm dripping through like vinegar through the thin crackles.

“How could I? Advertise to you the fact that I was unloved by my own mother? How could I ever, Jackson? You with your picture-perfect family that make me wanna puke up each time I compared mine to yours. You would just take pity on me, and I don’t need that. So I don’t allow myself to get close—not to you, not to anyone. I couldn’t afford to open up and let people rip me apart all over again. I was fine like that—until I met you. You and your stubborn streak, and for once in my life, you made me believed that I was worthy of something. Damn you, Wang Jackson. I can’t do this alone—I..I need you." Jinyoung shifted closer, his eyelids fluttered closed as his cheek made contact with Jackson's shoulder. His head felt so heavy, he needed a remedy so bad.

 _I need you_ —the three words that Jackson has been wanting to hear from Jinyoung, the three words that he waited for so long.

 _But the time has passed,_ he reminded himself. _The time has passed…_

“Jinyoung-ah, we’ve already talked about this. I can’t. I’m really sorry to hear about your dad, and your relationship with your mother—but I can’t do this.” Gingerly, Jackson lifted Jinyoung’s head and scooted away, placing a safe amount of distance between them. He tried to convince himself that this feeling will soon pass. When morning comes, he would lose the almost automatic instinct to wrap his arms around Jinyoung’s broken form, to pat his shuddering shoulders, to hold Jinyoung so tight to him that they melt into each other, becoming one. _Yes, this feeling will pass_..

But Jinyoung has more to say.

“I’ve been thinking for the past few months. You were right, I was destroying everything in my path, you included. But I’m not like that anymore. I don’t want to be like that anymore..” Jinyoung pleaded, trying not to choke on the unspoken words, even as Jackson stood and began heading towards the door, his eyes never quite meeting Jinyoung’s.

“I’m sorry for your loss..I hope you’ll find the strength to forgive and forget, Jinyoung-ah. It’s all in the past now—let it go, will you?” He reached for the door, holding it slightly ajar.

“I guess you really hate me, huh?” _Did you?_

“You know that’s not true.” _You have to know that._

“The old Jackson would always forgive me…but well, I guess I’ve hurt him too much…” _Did I?_

“Don’t say that—I’ve changed, is all.”

“Yeah…you sure have changed. I can see that.”

“…Jinyoung-ah, please..” _Try to understand._

“…Sure….I’m..uh…well—sorry, for taking up your time. Thanks, for…for everything.” Jinyoung unfurled himself into a standing position and straightened his clothes, brushing an invisible lint of his shoulder. His pride dwindled with each passing second, his throat constricted, his tongue losing muscle memories of words he practised over and over again for the past six months. _I’m sorry…I’m really really sorry…I’m just so sorry_..

“Just—just get home safe, okay.” Jackson pulled the door wide open, making way for Jinyoung to walk out from his life for good this time. The fact that his ribcage seemed to tighten itself around his lungs with each of Jinyoung’s reluctant footsteps is irrelevant, since someone has to knock some sense into them both. Unfortunately, that someone is him.

The human heart can break time and time again, Jackson realised. It breaks and it breaks and it breaks…until one day it just gets tired of breaking. He inhaled the too-familiar scent of Jinyoung’s mint aftershave for what appeared to be the last time, schooled his face not to betray his emotions, convinced himself that he could get through this mess. That he was doing this for both of their sakes. That it was the right thing to do— _it has to be, if it hurt so much like this._

They brushed shoulders and Jackson headed towards the living room, not wanting to listen to Jinyoung’s footsteps walking out of his life. The door closed with a soft thud, the lock falling into place; _finally._

 

He didn’t see Jinyoung slipping back inside seconds before the door closed.

Warm breath brushed his nape as a pair of familiar hands hugged him from the back, tapered fingers locking themselves across his waistline, afraid to push him further, but also afraid to let go.

“Can I please stay?”

“…”

“Forgive me, please?”

“…”

 

What Jackson didn’t know until then was that along with the capability to break again and again, the human heart can also heal by itself, given the time and space.

 

 

 _Kiss me now_  
_and remind me why_  
_I ever wanted_  
_to make you mine_  
_And even though it hurts in_ _this moment_  
_I've always known it_  
_You're the other half_  
_of my broken heart_

 

**\- THE END -**

**Author's Note:**

> My third JinSon fic. Inspired by the soulful voice of Ruth B (If This is Love). Just want to explore the topic of forgiveness, and see how I can fit it into JinSon’s relationship. Crossposted on my Tumblr. Hope you’ll enjoy it, and comments are always loved <3


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